Sunday, September 7


I think I broke her heart.  She asked the question, I answered, not very eloquently, and I think I broke her heart.
Now that I've had more time to ponder upon the question she asked, I know I should have phrased things a little differently, in order to spare her heart a little.

I know now that what I was feeling the past few weeks, was a sense of idolatry on my part.  I've been blessed to have someone clean for me, occasionally cook, and watch my kids any time I've needed her. I have enjoyed this time immensely.  But my personality is such, that I don't like staying in a stagnant place for very long.  Really, I am needing and ready to grow again. She was my lifesaver, she was pure joy and light to my heart during a really difficult time.  But I know now that it is right for us both to move on with our progression.  I didn't want her to take it personally, and yet I knew how deeply it would hurt to feel like I was pushing her out.  And so, I was going to just leave it in the Lord's hands and asked that He let her know when it was time, that opportunities would present themselves, and that she would be able to see those and move forward successfully, happily, and blessed.

She asked a question, and demanded an answer, that I tell her the truth.  And so I did.  I think I broke her heart…and it's breaking mine.

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