Sunday, July 29

Our Love Story (part 3)

For part 2 go here and scroll down a little.

  So, on our ice skating date (date number three)~I had never been ice skating.  It was a new experience for me whereas my husband seemed pretty expert at it.  We decided to play tag.  Once again, I was really impressed with his athletic abilities.  Normally, keeping up with the guys hadn't been a problem my entire life-and here was this extremely intelligent guy leaving me in the dust.
  I was it.  He was taunting me and skating backwards while I skated as fast as my legs could carry me, huffing and practically red in the face.  This competition was ON!
  As he saw me approaching, he quickly turned around and I lunged my arm out there to swipe him-certain I'd missed, my hand made unmistakable contact-right in the REAR.  I was more than utterly embarrassed.  He quaintly turned around and began skating backwards again with an over exaggeration of surprise and embarrasment~raising his eyebrows, putting his hand over his wide open mouth.
Then I saw it.  The wall was quickly approaching him as I turned the sharp corner.  I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see him collide, although I didn't have the skills to skate I turned around and watched him ram into the wall and fall on his behind, I too fell flat on mine and we both laughed until we were red in the face.
  That was how it seemed to go with us.  He made me laugh.  He wasn't at all self-conscious, and very comfortable with himself, quirkiness and all.  I really liked that in him.
  Things began to heat up on the home front-between James and I.  I sensed James' keen awareness at the fact that he wasn't the only guy on scene.  So, what would any good LDS guy do when he wants to let a girl know he's serious?  We began holding hands.  Now this is as serious as I'd ever gotten with anyone in it was a pretty big deal.  We cuddled while watching movies and frequently held hands.  And I was on cloud nine.  I began feeling like the level of our relationship was such that I ought to begin only dating him.  So I gave Dan a call and left a message.
  When Dan returned from work that day, he was surprised to find a message on his answering machine letting him know that I was dating someone else pretty seriously, and that I probably shouldn't continue on with our relationship out of respect to him.
   From his point of view, he said that getting that message, his logical response was "Oh well...plenty of other fish in the sea".  But that something else inside him just couldn't let it go.  He's a pretty easy-going guy as far as knowing when he's not in control of a situation-or people's choices.  So it came as a surprise that he just couldn't let it roll off his back.  He said that he was full of anxiety and turmoil-on into the night.  He tossed and turned and woke up feeling awful.  Thought to himself, "There's no way I'm going to be effective at work if I can't shake this".  So he prayed from his heart, asking the Lord to please give him peace about the situation so that he could carry on with his life.  After much pleading, he said that a thought came out of the blue-another strange phenomenon that made no logical sense:  "She'll be with you." Peace.  Being the intellectual man he is, his thoughts were something along the lines of, "Okay...I wasn't expecting that...what on earth does that mean?"  Nonetheless, he was thankful for the sudden change and was able to go on with his work day as usual.
  Well, when my parents heard what was going on they advised me strongly. "No ring, no date, no claim.  You shouldn't be closed to other possibilities until you have a ring and a date."  Secretly, I think they were rooting for Dan.  We just seemed to go together.
  That's when I decided to call and leave yet another message letting Dan know that I was still up for a date the coming weekend. 
  Sometime later, Daniel headed to his sister's wedding in Las Vegas.  I went on another date with James.  Unknown to me, he had gone out and purchased an engagement ring (after a month of dating).  He was planning to propose that weekend and stake a claim for good.  We went to the Temple on Saturday morning and went for a walk around it.   In front of the Denver Temple, just in front of the fountain, he got down on one knee and said all sorts of flattering things, then asked me to marry him.  I stood for a moment, wondering what the correct answer was (not very confident in my ability to make good choices), and felt good enough about it, so I said "Yes!" and gave him a big hug.  We had not kissed at this point; as a matter of fact, I was twenty-one years old and had NEVER kissed a man before. (That evening, he asked if he could kiss me goodnight.  I told him I didn't know how.  He told me I didn't need to do anything and that it would just be a peck.  So I squeezed my eyes shut and sat there with a red face and let him kiss me.  It was a wonderful kiss).
  We went to his house after getting engaged, and he began calling family members.  I felt excited.  But as the day went on, for some reason there was something looming over both of our heads.  It just didn't feel right.  By the next day, Sunday, everyone who was with us was a little perplexed at the way we were acting.  Something was not right...shouldn't we both be full of smiles?  Instead it seemed that boredom and anything but exhilaration for this special occasion loomed over our heads.
  We talked it over and decided that maybe we had rushed things a little and maybe it just wasn't the right time for us to be getting engaged.  So I gave him back the ring, letting him know that we would still date and look forward to the time we would be engaged and happy.  He seemed to feel at peace with that.
  I remember during the entire weekend, I kept reflecting on the several dates, hours of talking and hanging out I'd had with James-and how all of that combined did not seem to stick out in my mind nearly as much as the few dates I had had with Dan.  I didn't feel it right either that I was thinking mostly of another man during the day and a half engagement to James.  So after I'd returned the ring, we both felt much better.
   Meanwhile, after the weekend was done, Dan was being delayed on his flight back to CO-via a terrible snow storm coming through. 
I was living at home as a full-time nanny for my parents' foster kids.  Four little ones ages three and four all with fetal-alcohol and drug syndrome (the biggest taste of motherhood I had up to this point).

 I remember having so much fun when the electricity went out that night.  My little sister Kemarie had a couple friends over, and they ended up staying because we were snowed in.  So we all cozied up into the office downstairs with our blankets and pillows, and Kemarie entertained us with her amazing reading and acting skills-reading Harry Potter which was quite popular at the time-until it was too late and we all went to sleep.

Daniel returned from the wedding and soon, we spoke and had another date set up.

Wednesday, July 25

Home Stretch

I feel like I have way too much time on my hands lately.  I am keeping up on housework, taking my kids out practically every day as well as working on my yard every other day...and am in the middle of a great book called Falling to Heaven by the same author as The Peacegiver.  I've even been able to sew matching skirts and ties for all (soon to be five) of my children in the past couple of days.  Other than these things, and watching mindless television, I spend a whole lot of time resting and sleeping. Time seems to stand still being nearly nine months pregnant...and I guess it will be completely opposite once he's here.
   My kids have been a great help in anticipation of baby Joshua's arrival.  The older two remember how long it was waiting for overall, they are being very patient.  I just keep telling them that everything has to be ready in case he comes today (that gets them to do pretty much whatever I ask of them ;).  They are the greatest kids, and I'm so thankful for their willingness to help me out right now.

My sweetheart and I after a hard day's work...we were tired, but I thought my friend did a fantastic job snapping a few pictures of us. 

 I love this man more than I ever thought it possible to love another human being; and while our marriage has had it's ups and downs, overall it has been a fantastic journey.
 We love each other, we stick with it ~ and that is what brings indescribable joy.  I am thankful to my Father in Heaven for setting this whole plan up.
Forever families are what it's all about!

Sunday, July 22

The Project

Our backyard is coming along.  I'll post better pictures after our playset is complete, pool set up and rubber mulch in.  It's been fun!

Sunday, July 15


It was a beautiful Baptism and confirmation.  My son is growing up and is a beautiful soul with so much to offer this world.  I wish I could have recorded the words to his confirmation~they were insight into who he is and who he can become depending on his choices in life.  Nothing I didn't sense, but my husband is eloquent in giving blessings.  The spirit was there, and I know my son felt it.  He has always been sensitive to the spirit, and I'm so happy he can now have it as his constant companion.  I'm thankful for him, and for his Daddy.  We are blessed as parents.
And I have to mention that when this baby comes, he will be my second son with an eight year gap between boys...(and surprisingly, I have kept most of my boy baby clothes).  My oldest has become a cub scout and a member of the Church.
Proud day being able to wear his first uniform-and attend his first pack meeting!

I have a feeling this picture will be extra special to him in the future because of both his decision to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the Lord's decision to answer the wishes of his heart in sending him a little brother.

Wednesday, July 11

Great Things

I've been struggling with depression this entire pregnancy.  Usually if I struggle with it during, it lets up a little after the baby is born.  That is why I am looking forward to Joshua being born...well of course, there are many other good reasons why I look forward to him being born, but for selfish reasons, I'll be so happy to not have to deal with depression.  It's not fun while trying to take care of a family and home.  If I do fulfill my responsibilities, it's with a lot of irritability and yelling-or the alternative, withdrawing.  Not fun for my kids or anyone else.  Life is just plain hard sometimes.  And I do not handle it well when my brain is not working right.

My husband has a job that is really taxing-and stressful.  So he comes home, and has not much left to give.  We do our best to have family night, family scripture study and prayer together, but that's most the extent of attention we get from him-which is hard.  It's just a hard time.  I look forward to Josh being born also because he'll get a break from work and we can just focus on our little family together.  I know he enjoys that much more.  Our vacation was so awesome for that reason-real life hits hard after spending two weeks just together as a family and having such a great time.

The night after that last post was my first pre-labor.  Second has been Monday night (after cleaning my house spotless that evening).  So I've felt a little sleep deprived lately, but nothing like what I've been through in the past.

They just found a leak in our Ohio home behind the paint cans in the closet-years of mold and bacteria build up.  Most likely that was a contributing factor to my kids being sick all the time (most extreme in the first nine months of living in that house)-oh what a difference our family's health and good sleep has made!!  Glad they are getting that taken care of for future families.

Despite the difficulties I face now, I still feel that Albuquerque has been, overall a great blessing place for me.  I cannot help but express my gratitude for the strength and faith the Lord has given me through my many trials in marriage and child-bearing.  I am so much better now at dealing with day to day life, and also keeping an eternal perspective in moments of sheer exhaustion (which come often these days).

I love the Lord and his Gospel.  I truly believe that it is the answer to any of life's questions and struggles.  The words of living prophet's and apostles are inspired and powerful in our day.

My all time favorite scripture is "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  I've always believed it, but not until going through some of the most harrowing trials of my life, have I had the chance to really put it into practice.  And I can testify more strongly today than I could ten years ago, that this is true.

I'm thankful for my marriage-my children-my parents and siblings, and  my in-laws.  I have a great family all around.  And though I feel lonely being a military wife, my appreciation for extended family has grown since being away.  My social skills have grown a ton too out of necessity.  I'm thankful for my friends-they are amazing.

Thursday, July 5

We dressed up to celebrate the fourth of July but did not really end up doing anything for it...other than going to the hospital to make sure Joshua was alright...I hadn't felt him move all morning-and had a concern about fluid levels and position of baby.  All ended up being just fine.  After that, the kids and I headed to Walmart mostly for fun where they chose out a toy each and we got some food.
I love my little sweeties.

I have great kids

Stellaluna and Cardboard Butterflies

  My thoughts have been turned to a famous LDS blogger.  Josh Weed is his name. He had come out with a post about four years ago decla...