Big Break

I have not blogged in a while.
Was having some extreme post-partum depression and am now on the lowest dose of Zoloft for it.  It has helped immensely with just being able to enjoy daily life, and not feeling so out of control with my emotions and temper.  My hardest times are usually during storms, and PMS which is common for many people.  But now life is enjoyable, and doable.

I love my family!

Dan is working same long hours and often doesn't get home till nine or ten, working most Saturdays.
The kids don't see him much, but I can hold down the fort alright now that I have my medication.

Thought I was bi-polar, but it looks like I just have a cycle of normal, depressed.  And the depression is by far worst after I have babies.  I just can't handle my load without doing something about it, and wished I would have done something after my third because that was also an impossible load for me.  I was miserable, really struggling and going crazy often enough.

It's better that it's not bi-polar disorder for sure.  This medication is okay while nursing or pregnant so it opens up possibilities for me and our family.  I still have limitations on what I can accomplish on any given day, I still have weaknesses like before, but man it takes the edge off.
It has greatly improved all my relationships and especially with my husband.  A light switched on in my brain and life is no longer something to be endured.  I can enjoy it much of the time now.  I realize more than ever how extremely blessed I am in every area of life!
I am  not one of those Mom's who is really on top of things, or who does her hair or makeup every day.  I don't have hobbies that I have a passion for anymore.  I don't work out regularly.  I do what I can when I can, and let go of the rest.  I love my children. And just being able to complete daily tasks and take joy in living and in teaching my children is a wonderful blessing to me!

My new 'hobbies' are, cutting hair, doing the girls' hair a few times a week, reading blogs, reading to my children, trying really hard to make a good dinner every day, and that's about it.

I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and am grateful for my limitations!  They have taught me a ton about faith and hope.

I am more in love with my sweetheart than ever before and my heart is full of gratitude for my life.

Comments

Mom W. said…
This sounds so positive! I'm glad you are feeling better about yourself and life. You don't need to compete with anyone, just take one day at a time, and let the rest go. We are looking forward to seeing you all soon. Love ya!!!
Janus said…
Rachel,
I'm sending hugs your way.

love you
L C M said…
I am glad you are doing better. I can't imagine being a mother of four right now. I am proud of your hard works. Yes, we are going to be Coloradoites. I am certain this will be a more permenant move for us. I think our kids will grow up in Colorado. Grand Junction, exactly. We are about 3 1/2 hours from my mom's house.
L C M said…
We are going to be leaving sometime in June or July. I always wanted to get out and see you, but we just have never had a vehicle able to handle the trip. We will be really testing it to try and take it back to Colorado, it will possibly make it but it will be entirely on prayer. We have a back up plan if it can't. Sigh. The life of students.

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