Well, I've been here at my parents house for nearly a week now, and things have settled somewhat so we have a good enough routine going and I'm having the time of my life. I never forget how much I love my parents and siblings, but sometimes I forget how much fun we always manage to have together...the late nights up talking about the happenings of the past years we've been living and growing seperately from each other, them being able to get to know my children because of how few and far between our visits are, the way we can just be ourselves and love, laugh, and tease each other.
It just hit me tonight that we are starting over. A new house, a new neighborhood, a new part of the country.
Change happens to be pretty hard for me. However, the fresh start is always exciting. I feel so lonely and sad much of the time, though. Maybe I'm experiencing some postpartum depression. I'm surrounded by family members who love me and whom I have the greatest time with, yet I'm lonely. Go figure.
Dan will be coming Thursday into town for Niki's wedding and Angie's blessing. I miss us being a whole family in our own house already, but enjoying the time at Grandma's house.
One highlight of being here is seeing my little sis and her new found love. Yep, there just may be ANOTHER wedding amongst the Campbell clan this year. I'm rather impressed with the companions all four of my siblings have chosen...and my sister's boyfriend, is no disappointment either. In fact, I've found myself feeling a little jealous at how perfectly well he gets along with and fits into our family. He's a great guy, and I think a match for my amazing returned missionary sister.
I'm at a completely different point in my life than any of my brothers and sisters being a full time parent of three small children. I like having more experience than them, but it's also hard because they can't really relate to me and the struggles I'm having. I'm extremely overwhelmed at the task of trying to raise three children and wonder if I got in over my head often.
But my faith is strong enough, that I know somehow I'll do a decent job when looking at the larger picture. I really love the Lord and need his strength and support constantly, whithout which I'd have given up long ago on this whole motherhood thing. It's beyond anything I've ever experienced. I love my children with all that is in me.
I'm thankful for my wonderful, intelligent, silly husband and am missing him and being a complete family very much. I've heard people say that it takes about five years of marriage to really feel like a family unit.
Excited to attend the Temple this week for my baby sister's wedding. I love the house of the Lord. I feel at home when I'm there. It's a refuge from this world.
I love my Savior.
I miss my Father in Heaven terribly.
I look forward to all I'll learn in our new place.
Someday, we'll all meet again and really see and know one another and rejoice in reuniting in our original family and home with our Heavenly parents.
How I look forward to that day.