I've realized recently that I sure like to live in the past. For years, I would dream of old Elementary school friends after I'd moved to a new place. I never opened up in my new school. Maybe if I let go, I'll be able to really start living life in the present. I've enjoyed Dr. Laura's book Stop Whining, Start Living-at least what I've read of it. It could do good for my marriage. Weaknesses sure tend to humble us. I want to be as happy as possible and enjoy each day to the fullest as it comes, but first, I must let go. I must let go of the "What if..."
Another thought I've had recently is that I'm feeling less lonely than I have since marriage. Our family feels more complete than ever. Growing up in a large, combined family and loving home life and my role as big sister, it's been hard to not be surrounded by people who have known me all my life and understand me. I'm not really confident in who I am because I'm still figuring out who I am outside of the family I grew up in. Perhaps if I'd socialized a little more in High School, I could have learned more quickly who I was in relation to those outside my immediate family.
Think I'll start living now and try harder than ever to open up to those who have not known me all my life and hope that they'll be tolerant of me...because I know who I want to be and who I want to be is someone worth getting to know.