Monday, June 30

Well, I've been here at my parents house for nearly a week now, and things have settled somewhat so we have a good enough routine going and I'm having the time of my life.  I never forget how much I love my parents and siblings, but sometimes I forget how much fun we always manage to have together...the late nights up talking about the happenings of the past years we've been living and growing seperately from each other, them being able to get to know my children because of how few and far between our visits are, the way we can just be ourselves and love, laugh, and tease each other.
It just hit me tonight that we are starting over.  A new house, a new neighborhood, a new part of the country.
Change happens to be pretty hard for me.  However, the fresh start is always exciting.  I feel so lonely and sad much of the time, though.  Maybe I'm experiencing some postpartum depression.  I'm surrounded by family members who love me and whom I have the greatest time with, yet I'm lonely.  Go figure. 
Dan will be coming Thursday into town for Niki's wedding and Angie's blessing.  I miss us being a whole family in our own house already, but enjoying the time at Grandma's house.
One highlight of being here is seeing my little sis and her new found love.  Yep, there just may be ANOTHER wedding amongst the Campbell clan this year.  I'm rather impressed with the companions all four of my siblings have chosen...and my sister's boyfriend, is no disappointment either.  In fact, I've found myself feeling a little jealous at how perfectly well he gets along with and fits into our family.  He's a great guy, and I think a match for my amazing returned missionary sister.

I'm at a completely different point in my life than any of my brothers and sisters being a full time parent of three small children.  I like having more experience than them, but it's also hard because they can't really relate to me and the struggles I'm having.  I'm extremely overwhelmed at the task of trying to raise three children and wonder if I got in over my head often.
But my faith is strong enough, that I know somehow I'll do a decent job when looking at the larger picture.  I really love the Lord and need his strength and support constantly, whithout which I'd have given up long ago on this whole motherhood thing.  It's beyond anything I've ever experienced.  I love my children with all that is in me.

I'm thankful for my wonderful, intelligent, silly husband and am missing him and being a complete family very much.  I've heard people say that it takes about five years of marriage to really feel like a family unit.

Excited to attend the Temple this week for my baby sister's wedding.  I love the house of the Lord.  I feel at home when I'm there.  It's a refuge from this world.

I love my Savior.

I miss my Father in Heaven terribly.

I look forward to all I'll learn in our new place.

Someday, we'll all meet again and really see and know one another and rejoice in reuniting in our original family and home with our Heavenly parents.

How I look forward to that day.

Sunday, June 22

Comments

I've now turned on the function that allows anyone to comment on my blog.  I'm looking forward to hearing from those of you who couldn't comment because you didn't have a Google account.

Thursday, June 19

In the last three days, this is what I've accomplished:
  • Cleaned out the van
  • Sorted through mine and all kid's clothes (stored too small or maternity, got rid of other)
  • Finished sorting through kids' toys and packed what we're bringing in the van
  • Went through downstairs closet, got rid of more stuff
  • Did all laundry and packed all mine and kids' clothes for trip
  • Cleaned the entire house, including vacuuming and sweeping, washing counters and mirrors (going to finish the rest of deep cleaning soon as possible)
  • Washed all bedding
  • Dusted downstairs
Things I have yet to do:

  • Sort through office closet
  • Go through both storage closets, get rid of a few things
  • Wash out big trash can
  • Get all addresses of friends
  • Make sure Dan downloads Quicken onto the old laptop for me to bring on the trip to keep track of my finances
  • Continue taking care of three rambunctious kids, feeding, changing, loving, keeping on routine, playing, disciplining, feeding some more.
  • Scrub Master tub
  • Wash master bathroom floor, kitchen floors and downstairs entry and bathroom floor
  • Steam clean all carpets
So glad the kids were good enough today, and that I was feeling good enough to get so much done.  I'll let someone know if I need any help.  I'm planning on leaving on the twenty-fifth...the sooner, the better.  Hyrum has a last dentist appointment and physical next week, then I'm free to fly out of here.  We'll have to wait till we get to Grandma's house to celebrate his fourth birthday which is next Wednesday.
It's so fast.  I'm so happy.


Sunday, June 15

Stake Conference

Today was Stake Conference.  It was really good, especially after I sent Dan out to change Angela's diaper-and the other kids to go with him to the nursery so I could enjoy the last half (sneaky, I know).
  It was a great meeting and I left knowing what areas I can work to improve in; grateful for what we already do well; and grateful for my husband, who is an awesome Daddy and really does lead with love, kindness and patience in our home.  I'm so blessed to be raising a family with him.  I love the Gospel so much and all the tools it gives us parents.  We're raising a family, and we're succeeding because the Lord is showing us the way.  What a wonderful time to live in.  I'm very grateful for the example my parents showed me and the opportunity now to pass it on  the my children so they too can live happy, productive, and influential lives.  Though they were far from perfect, they taught us the most important things in life.  And now, though I'm far from perfect, I will do my best to teach my children the best things in life.  I love my little family and look forward to them experiencing all the good and bad...because it is through both of those things that they can become great.  I want them to see our examples and know that we do know what we profess to know. 
  I know that Jesus Christ lives and can be the main source of strength, peace and love in our homes if we do our best to invite Him in constantly.  We have a living Prophet whose counsel is divine and when followed, does bring tremendous blessings.  I know that because I've experienced it many times in my own life, and in the lives of my immediate family.  There is simply nothing in this world that compares to the experience of learning truth, doing our best to apply it, then experiencing the fruit that is promised will follow obedience to God's laws.  It's lasting happiness...something that seems to be less common as time goes on.  It's hard work raising a family, but no one ever knows the full circle of influence their one example encompasses over years and even generations of time.
I love the Lord and His Gospel.  I love all of His children, each one unique and precious.  I love learning by listening to others and watching their examples.  I love living life.
I know the Book of Mormon along with the Bible is the word of God.  I know there is such a thing as modern revelation and personal revelation.  God does speak in our day, we just have to do what it takes to be able to hear and heed His words...because once we hear, we are held accountable for our actions or failure to act.
I know that God gives us multiple chances at a new start.  I believe in the power of repentance.  It is a glorious principle, one that refines us and allows us to progress.
I know that the ability to choose is of utmost importance in the master plan.  We will be judged by our thoughts, our actions, our lives by Jesus Christ one day.  But, it is not our job to judge each other in the slightest-we are simply commanded to love and to forgive each other.
These are a few things that I know are true.
 I know God lives and loves us as his children and wants more than anything for us to be happy and to succeed.  This is my testimony.

Friday, June 13

Hair Cut








This morning, before Dan left for work, we had family prayer.  Just five minutes later, I called for Hyrum and Ginnie to come upstairs and do morning chores.  After about ten minutes of folding clothes together, I looked over at Ginnie's hair and noticed a big chunk out of the side front. She told me, "Hywum did it." There were two other areas.  So I had to fix it so it looked decent.  Dan's going to be sad, I'm definitely sad.  It was so beautiful.  Now it's just short...it'll grow back-but unfortunately, she got my genes and it takes a VERY long time to grow.

She's got a comb over and clip to cover up the worst spot-otherwise, I just blended and shortened it quite a bit.  Good thing she's got such a cute personality to make up for the boy-looking bob.  As for Hyrum-he saw how sad and upset I was, and when Dan got home, he also expressed his disappointment.  So, I think he got it.  I told him girls look better with long hair. 

Saturday, June 7

Nichole



This is my baby sister Niki who  is getting married next month.  She and I have a good relationship.  When I was younger, I struggled with her but was determined to learn how to love her and accept her.  Grateful I put so much effort into it, because it's paid off.  She's a sweetie and will make one hot wife, and a great mom.  I really love my brothers and sisters and can't wait to spend as much time as I'd like to with them on our way to our new house.  I especially can't wait to play sports with all of them...Niki's amazing at basketball, and our entire family is pretty athletic so it will be like old times.  I'm ready to get back into shape.  I love playing and exercising and not being able to do it very much in the past year and a half (miscarriage and bed rest through the first part of Angie's pregnancy)-has made life a lot harder than it would be if I was getting the exercise I've needed.  Physically, I've felt weak and sickly for a long time, and mentally I've struggled.  Now that my body is in a place where I can, I'm going for it!  Got my first really good workout last Thursday and it made a world of difference in the way I felt about life.
Anyway, I love you Niki!  So excited for you to enter the married world.  And I can't wait to see all of you my wonderful family!

Silly Kids











Letting Go


    I've realized recently that I sure like to live in the past.  For years, I would dream of old Elementary school friends after I'd moved to a new place.  I never opened up in my new school.  Maybe if I let go, I'll be able to really start living life in the present.  I've enjoyed Dr. Laura's book Stop Whining, Start Living-at least what I've read of it.  It could do good for my marriage.  Weaknesses sure tend to humble us.  I want to be as happy as possible and enjoy each day to the fullest as it comes, but first, I must let go.  I must let go of the "What if..."
    Another thought I've had recently is that I'm feeling less lonely than I have since marriage.  Our family feels more complete than ever.  Growing up in a large, combined family and loving home life and my role as big sister,  it's been hard to not be surrounded by people who have known me all my life and understand me.  I'm not really confident in who I am because I'm still figuring out who I am outside of the family I grew up in.  Perhaps if I'd socialized a little more in High School, I could have learned more quickly who I was in relation to those outside my immediate family.
    Think I'll start living now and try harder than ever to open up to those who have not known me all my life and hope that they'll be tolerant of me...because I know who I want to be and who I want to be is someone worth getting to know.

Monday, June 2

Stellaluna and Cardboard Butterflies

  My thoughts have been turned to a famous LDS blogger.  Josh Weed is his name. He had come out with a post about four years ago decla...