Friday, January 25

Six and a Half Months

This pregnancy is going great.  I'm starting to feel the aches and pains of third trimester, but it just makes me more excited.
I was having some major pain around my belly button area for the past three days and went in to see if it was possibly a hernia. The Dr. just asked me to sit up and watched for a lump as I sat up.  Don't know why I ever go to the Doctor.  I always come home empty handed.  He just said he didn't know what it was and it wasn't a hernia.  Seemed a little annoyed that his time was being waisted-and I was even more annoyed that mine was.
 I was able to sleep well last night without too much discomfort for the first time in a while.  It did wonders and my stomach is feeling so much better today.
Now that I think about it, my muscles are spreading to the sides to make room for baby and that is a very vulnerable area.  Ginnie did kick me pretty hard about four days ago and that's when the pain really started.  I haven't been able to stand anyone touching my belly as a result and even moving from side to side lying down, and trying to stand up and walk has been incredibly painful until now.
I'm all for home studying and alternative medicine.  So yesterday, I had rubbed comfrey ointment on the sore area (ingredients;olive oil, beezwax, and comfrey) and it had brought immediate relief until I moved.  Comfrey is good for bringing swelling down, helping out with bruising and relief for sprains, breaks etc.  
 Some put themselves trustingly in Doctor's care for every little thing that goes wrong.  I'm steering away from that and am finding that I get better, quicker results as I'm more self-aware and simply study and try different alternative approaches.  It's so empowering...of course, I usually go about things with prayer because God is the source of all knowledge and He's the best teacher by far.  The answers always come.  It's usually when I  start to loose hope and faith in His ability to communicate with me that I go to the Doctor as a last resort, but that is almost always fruitless.  Though sometimes I long to be attending college again, I'm given opportunities constantly within my family to learn and apply subjects that have always fascinated me.

Wednesday, January 23


Well, Dan got an email saying that he was the primary candidate for a four-month deployment starting in May.
He talked to his head commander about it and reminded him that he's starting his PhD program in August, and that we'll be moving to Ohio shortly before that.
That let him off the hook. Who knows how far in advance he'd have to go for training...bad timing. So we're grateful we dodged the bullet. But it sort of hit me that it is still possible for him to have to go sometime. Think I'd just move to my parents for a while if that's the case in the future.

What is happiness...

I'm so grateful and happy to be able to bring another child into the world. 
So many of my friends don't have this opportunity, but have been able to adopt or are in the process of being chosen for adoption.  I know they'll be blessed with all the joy and love that's a part of Motherhood regardless, and that they will have their chance someday too.  My heart goes out to them and I wish I could give them such a gift.
I also know that there's a purpose for every trial we're given.  Some enjoy health and vitality while others struggle with health problems, physical pain on a daily basis.  Some suffer from bio-chemical imbalances, severe mood swings and depression and other mental disorders.  Some enjoy financial well-being, while others struggle half their lives to get out of debt and get on top of finances.  Some are a little more accident prone than others who seem to be watched out for a little more. And some are tempted often beyond what they feel they can handle, or feel chained to addiction or the temptation that will always be there until they die.
So, trials come in all different shapes and sizes and some last much of our lives here on earth.  I know some of my trials have been given to me to help me to learn greater faith.  Perhaps that's the reason for many of our trials-to learn to walk by faith, and be happy and grateful regardless of what we feel is holding us back from a better life.  I think another reason for my trials is to learn compassion.
 I figure, if I didn't struggle in one area, there would be a different area to help me grow and stretch to reach my fullest potential.
  • I think gratitude is the key to well as looking forward with hope for what we believe can be. This life is full of limitless possibilities, and I think that often, God grants us our righteous desires after the struggle, and after we've turned our entire trust over to Him...after we've given up our own wills as a sacrifice and been ready to accept whatever He sees fit to inflict upon us, or to bless us with.  And often, our afflictions turn out to be blessings in disguise.

Tuesday, January 15

Check out my Slide Show!

Figuring it out

Alright, what a break through.  I was so overwhelmed at the task of having to play the process of elimination game in Hyrum's diet-having a feeling that something he was eating was causing all sorts of havoc on his system including: digestive problems, trouble sleeping deeply (resulting in distinctive dark pink bags under his eyes, not a healthy look), headaches, a little depression (saying he's sad and misses anyone and everything), sort of not all the way there and extremely impulsive at times, accompanying what seemed to be bottled up energy that caused profusive sweating, teeth grinding and shakiness.  So, just today I was thinking back to the last two weeks and how he's been more himself than ever-and SO happy...his fullest personality has come out without all those not-so-typical-of-Hyrum behaviors as well as physical reactions.
I realized that I don't have any wheat products that we regularly eat and haven't for quite a while.  That, and because I've figured out that Ginnie is pretty much lactose intolerant (hers was easier because she'd be in so much abdominal agony when she drank regular milk), I've only bought lactose free milks for a long time.  Occasionally, I give my kids a slice of cheddar cheese-and Ginnie seems to crave milk products.  
Hyrum still asks for Raisin Bran and other wheat cereals on a regular basis.
It's strange that they crave the things that their systems can't handle very well.  Anyone have any experience with that?  I hear it's quite common.
Now, just to figure out why Ginnie needs to eat really often to avoid many melt-downs.  I'm thinking she may be a little hypoglycemic...I'll have to have her tested at her next check-up.

What an accomplishment as a Mother.  I mean, the wheat thing just sort of fell into my lap and I didn't realize it until I was talking about it to someone else.  

Today has been a GREAT day!  So many blessings and stress reducers. My baby is well and healthy and A GIRL!!!  Hyrum will hopefully now have a little less stress on his little body so he can enjoy life more.   And well, I owe it all to a loving Father who decided to make my life a little easier by just sort of helping me to reflect and put things together, and for blessing our baby with health.  

Dr. Appointment

Well, apparently, it's a girl and she's just the right size...measuring 27-28 weeks.
What a shock and relief!  Hyrum was right after all-as usual...he's really got a gift, very intuitive.  He tells me often that he really loves our baby, and gives my tummy hugs.

Thanks everyone for your prayers.

Monday, January 7

One Day

Well, I continue to overdo it. It must be the German mentality in me...all or nothing (and the nothing only kicks in when I'm no longer capable of giving much of anything). I give and go until I can't anymore, then I crash and burn.
On Saturday, I got a workout in the morning then spent the rest of the day taking care of my children as usual, organizing and deep cleaning my entire house and finishing all the laundry, as well as cutting everyone's hair (except my own...we all know what happens when I start trimming my own ends up three inches long). 
That was my goal, then I was going to reward myself by going maternity clothes shopping with a couple pregnant friends. By the time I was done, I was so exhausted I couldn't possibly follow through with the reward (which was for the purpose of getting away from my kids and socializing a little to recharge).  Instead, Ginnie and I went and picked up some pizza. While waiting for our pizza to get done, Ginnie proceeded to throw a very LOUD tantrum at which point I covered her mouth because there were people trying to take phone orders. 

And I thought it would be a nice little break away from the house.

So I spent most of Sunday bawling out of sheer exhaustion and my inability to give anymore, my inability to be a good wife or friend, and to share the gospel effectively.  Anything and everything was triggering a flood of tears so...I cried in Sunday School, I broke down in Relief Society...and I bawled for another couple hours after Church.

I took a walk and looked at the ocean in all it's splendor.  The sky was cloudy and dark just as I was feeling.  After settling myself on a bench in the middle of a field on base, I peered up into the sky...squinting, burning, teary eyes...wondering where I fit into this huge universe.  The sun seemed to move for me from behind a cloud and shone with a vivid brightness and I noticed the size of the reflection it made on the cold and dreary-looking ocean.  It was as if my creator was taking notice of me in that instant-and smiling down with love and attentiveness.  
All of a sudden, I didn't feel so alone or so stuck in this moment of misery. "Tomorrow's another day", I thought..."and the Lord is with me."  Though physical, mental and emotional exhaustion still lingered, my courage was renewed.  I could now face another day, and trust in God's strength and ability, not my own.
My friend Suzie came to the rescue and took me away. We visited for a while and I knew I could count on her not to judge my nuttiness and to just love me. It also gave me an opportunity to focus on someone else for a while which I really needed to do. She's got her own struggles and I realized now that there are things that I can always be doing to lighten her load a little.  As my Mother always taught me, service is the greatest healing balm for depression.
So with that mindset, I invited some new military neighbors who are also in our ward, over for dessert. I couldn't believe how well we all got along...including our kids. We had so much fun talking, sharing, and playing-and I'm so excited for a new friendship-especially because we seem to relate and click so well. My new friend is just the sort of Mom I need to learn laid back, happy and content with life. She doesn't expect too much from herself, doesn't take life too seriously, and just enjoys it. She doesn't try to live up to society's expectations. I really love her personality, it's so much fun to be around. That's the sort of person I want to be more like...I know I'm different for a reason, but I don't think it would hurt to hang out with and let her ways rub off on me a little:) Hopefully, in return, I can also be a blessing in her life.
The Lord sends just the type of friends I need at different times, and that along with many small daily miracles and blessings that I witness, lets me know that he cares and that he's aware of my needs no matter how alone I feel sometimes.
It ended up being a great day and I'm grateful to my Father in Heaven for making it so.

Stellaluna and Cardboard Butterflies

  My thoughts have been turned to a famous LDS blogger.  Josh Weed is his name. He had come out with a post about four years ago decla...